I have been in your shoes. Only time will heal your wounds. One day, I promise, you will look back and just shake your head and thank your lucky stars that he is no longer in your life. He is a creepster and you deserve that knight in shining armour...

Hugs...

I would imagine that your children means the world to you. What do they have to say about this situation? How do they feel about this guy? (Who's totally an asshole btw)

You said it yourself that you look good for your age, meeting better guys should not be difficult for you, but it's the emotional connections, not just with you, but with your children and close friends, that will be the stamp of approval.

I would say to look at the things you were doing before you met this guy, the good things you were doing to better yourself, your family and friends. Those things that bring you joy and happiness, dive right back into them.

At the same time, you need to cut contact with this guy, no matter how difficult it is. Call up your friends whenever you think about him so you can listen to your friends tell you what a horrible person he is.

It's weird for me to be saying all this when I'm having a hard time doing these things myself, but they're things my friends and random people have been telling me to do.

Thanks all!

philipfillup: my older son is in college/dorm but comes home quite often and I am sure he is wondering why I am home all the time now but has not asked me anything, P (the x) did not live with us. My younger son is a junior and I think both of them just want to see me happy and does not want me to end up alone. They have their own friends and lives and I don't believe in holding on to them or making them feel guilty to keep me company. It really does not matter now, coz P is moving to Arizona to live with his bro until he finds a job.

I have been painting my place 2 months ago, dead tired every night then went to work the next day. I stopped that project in December due to the holiday season but holidays are hard for failed relationships. So for the past month, I have been going home, down and crawling in bed watching movies (lots of stupid movies out there) or tearjerker (Hachi is good). I went to parties and everyone asked me where he was and you see all these couples etc and it made me more sad. People tells me it's okay to be alone but same people are in destructive relationships that they can not end.

Yes, I have to keep busy so my mind does not wander or do stupid things that I never used to do. Finish my home project, start making my earrings again and travel.

Even though I've had relationships in the past, once it broke off I was able to walk away with dignity but his time it's different. I have to honestly say he is the first guy I truly believe that I love. I'm trying hard to not dramatize my situation as there are so many things going on in this world that really matters ... but when it comes to the matter of the heart - easier said than done. There are so many things to be thankful for, family and friends, health, the very gift of life.

Thanks for the kind words. I've never done this before but I guess it helps to pour it all out here and get different perspective and opinions and knowing I am not alone - as I am not even able to tell my best friend what is going on, too ashamed for my weakness and dont want to be judged and dont want people constantly calling me asking if I am okay.

Although I tell myself forgiveness is a liberating act - I told him I will never forgive him and that he will remember me for the rest of his life - he said he knows. Maybe it's true about Karma, he's been having a hard time finding work, maybe because he's been hurting me with his lying - the very person who has been helping him in this tough times.

Have a great New Year, y'all!

Going through my own lame ass situation. Sorry if I sound harsh sometimes. It's just that I've been living with boyfriend of 9 years who has had zero emotion.

I hope you have a safe weekend. Be good to yourself. Please try to not think about Thai chick. I honestly believe she is using him for something. And he is falling for it. Let him. Go bye bye!!

In the meantime, my 9 yr BF is slamming doors all day cause I asked him a question about what he thinks he contributes to our relationship. He said mortgage payment. Nice, huh?

I used to be a nice, mellow, demure, vibrant woman. But for the last 2 weeks, my language has gotten so foul every time I talk to him that I didnt even know is in my vocabulary. hahahahaaaaaaaa ....

Have a great weekend!

I'm with you sister! Potty mouth on this end too...

I'm just so fed up now, I hid all the toilet paper. HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Hi, I understand that you don't want your sons involve, as long as they love you and want to see you happy then that's all that matters =] Netflix has taken up a lot of my time with movies too haha, all the romance movies about cheating and breaking up to find someone new helps. I have been in situations like that where friends ask me where's your bf, and I just can't bring myself to say 'oh he's with this other guy right now' so I just say, "what bf?" I guess sometimes I had to tell myself, he's not my problem now, I'm free.

The heart can be so cruel sometimes, and yea it helps to get strangers' perspectives. I bitch and moan to a lot of my close friends but it's not the same as listening to a someone on the outside. But yea, tell your best friends, tell the people around you, they're there to help you move on from this guy. =]

I also need to learn how to let go emotionally. It sounds fairly easy, and I am smart enough to know that time will heel me and make me feel better, but I can relate to how hard it is, because what are you supposed to do minute to minute when you are sitting there shaking? Sounds like you are doing the right things by keeping busy, and I am proud of you for being able to do that. You will be better off in the long run. Just stay strong and remind yourself that you will feel better!

Needswork: Yes, I used to wonder why people get so emotional with these things. We sit there judging them and telling them to move on but it is hard. I used to tell myself I don't need a man to complete me but now I am having a hard time going forward - I feel lost. You end up questioning your self worth over someone who does not deserve you and thinking all the could have/should have etc.

P was in town for a job interview two nights ago. He took me to dinner and we talked for a long long time. We then went to Safeway (opens 24 hours), ate ice cream and talked til 1:30 a.m. He rented a trailer yesterday, got all his stuff from storage and left for Arizona.

I questioned myself if I am just too nice/compassionate or just plain stupid. These 10 days have been draining. I was soooo mad, I screamed at him, I called him all sorts of name, I cursed at him, I lightly slapped him ... but now that I have calmed down, my anger at him seemed to have gone away and I am more angry at myself for not staying angry at him and still loves him.

Although P and I have great passion for each other, I am not the type who is all over him or showering him with kisses all the time. I am a bit more reserve, maybe a little too proud but I am who I am and yes, happy with who I am.

He actually now told me he knew Thai Girl (online only) for over 2 years, before she moved back to Bangkok, she used to live in Massachusetts (a nurse). They maintained this online friendship but never thought to meet but since my relationship with P has been stressful the last 6 months, mostly due to the fact that he is jobless - she invited him to visit. SOOOOO, warning to people out there, if your bf/gf has online chat buddies, BEWARE! She apparently is very very very affectionate/emotional, jumps all over him and told him she loves him on his second visit to her. Already claiming him as her bf one week after they met. Booked a weekend getaway at some secluded resort a few days after he arrived - I guess SHE courted him. She is however, very insecure as she gets into this jealous thing even when P is just talking to random girl that they were sharing a table with at some restaurant, would cry blah blah then would get all lovey dovey. She does not know he has been jobless almost two years. I asked P to get himself checked and to send me the results, it's the least he can do to give me some peace of mind. He said he will.

Anyways, it's Sunday ... time to GET Up, GET Dressed, GET Going!!! You all have a wonderful week ahead and Happy Happy New Year.

Thank you so much for listening.